


Leave Me to Dream

by webcricket



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Angst, Castiel Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-07 22:44:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12242070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/webcricket/pseuds/webcricket
Summary: Fic request by @captainblurryface21 – “Could I please request an angst-y and fluffy one-shot based from the song Dream by Imagine Dragons??” I’ll let the song lyrics serve as summary – “We all are living in a dream, /But life ain’t what it seems /Oh everything’s a mess /And all these sorrows I have seen /They lead me to believe /That everything’s a mess /But I wanna dream /I wanna dream /Leave me to dream.”





	Leave Me to Dream

A deceptively warm autumn breeze caressed your cheeks, rustling the limbs of the ruddy-mantled maple you reclined against. A cascade of bright red and orange speckled leaves noisily shook free, fluttering from their quivering branches to tumble exuberantly across the yellowing grasses, amassing together in scattered heaps here and there on the unnaturally flat park grounds as though by some predetermined agreed-upon plan to rejoin ranks after escaping their stemmed restraints upon the tree. Perhaps they were simply lonely in their freedom. You scented in the swirling air drifting from a meadow beyond the manicured fields a mixture of fragrant sun-warmed late-blooming aster and the sickly sweet odor of newly fallen apples, bruised and rusting flesh half-consumed in the dawn by deer and other furtive wandering night creatures. Twisting a single dark lock of curly hair around your finger over and over again, you contemplated, between turns of the page as you read, the peaceful countenance of the angel with his head resting upon your lap. Smiling to yourself, it occurred to you that very rarely was the real world this idyllic.

He did not stir, though every so often his expression would tense with vague unease, a subtle swell of terror suddenly snatching at his frame, the disquiet quickly calmed by the renewed and reassuring ministrations of your fingers softly stroking his hair and face. Castiel didn’t sleep, but lately he would routinely pass hours in repose with you in this manner, eyes sealed in reclusive thought.

Observing him, a fretful deep line began to coax his brow into an anxious furrow. Smoothing your fingertips lightly across his forehead, your touch quelled the surge of agitation menacing his serenity. Forgetting your book, surrendering to a cloistered curiosity regarding the source of the torment in his quietude on this sublimely perfect afternoon, you swept your knuckles across his prickly cheek and neck, settling your palm to his shallowly rising and falling chest. The slowing beat of his vessel’s heart thrummed beneath your fingertips. Leaning down, your lips and exhaling breath brushed a tenderly heated kiss over each of his eyelids in turn. “Angel, what are you thinking about?” you whispered against the delicate skin, his lashes tickling your lips.

His luminous multi-hued blues flickered open, faraway focus resolving in a blink upon your inquisitive regard. “Nothing,” he professed mechanically, adding in a guilty low tone after a brief reflective pause, “everything.”

The involuntary gentleness of your smile at the expansive scope of his answer did little to disguise the concern otherwise clouding your aspect.

Plainly discerning the familiar concern flitting across your features, he reached up to cover your hand warmly with his own, “You needn’t worry about me.”

“Don’t I though?” you asserted, repositioning your hand to twine your fingers loosely through his. “You know you can talk to me about anything, don’t you?”

His eyes dimmed distantly. The now rising wind fiercely shook the boughs above; whipping tendrils of air rekindled the rain of brightly blushing leaves around you and the angel. The faint crunch of crisp leaf on leaf as they toppled and spun in their colorful seasonal dance filled the unanswered silence.

You squeezed his hand to draw him back to you, to wrench him from whatever painful past recollection vexed his mind and threatened to tear him away from you, “I mean it Castiel, anything. I’m here for you. Let me help.”

A deep sigh collapsed his ribcage. He nodded, returning to the present with a heavy blink. “I know, and you already do,” a sad smile traced his mouth, fingers folding firmly around yours in return. “You already do more than you know. So much more than I deserve.”

“Don’t say that,” you scoffed, pressing an inflexible scolding kiss to his lips. “You deserve to be loved. And I love you, more than you seem to know.”

He closed his eyes, allowing your words, the kindness illumining your soul, and the adamant smattering of affectionate kisses to his face and neck attesting to your unyielding devotion to soothe him.

“Tell me, my sweet angel,” your lips relented their doting assault, fingers again burying in his thick shock of hair to massage his scalp. “What’s bothering you?”

A groan vibrated his throat – in part born from the pleasantness of your touch, and partly in weary acquiescence to your stubborn concern. “Every step I take, every righteous plan, every virtuous intention, every life I touch…no matter what I do, it all ends up a mess,” he spoke without looking at you, sheltered behind the darkness of his shuttered eyes. “Or worse.”

“That’s not true,” you tugged his locks emphatically until he opened his eyes to peer sullenly at you. “You help people Cas. You help save the world. You have a purpose. A family you selflessly protect with your life. You…”

“And I’ve hurt plenty of people too, innocent people,” he interrupted, frowning. “I’ve nearly destroyed the world in vain pride and all but ruined Heaven with my vanity. I’m an outcast amongst my kin. How many times have I selfishly put Sam and Dean’s lives at risk? And you, the most precious thing to me in all of creation,” his voice strained tearfully, leaden with remorse, “I couldn’t even hold on to you when it mattered most.”

You shook your head as he spoke, “You still have me, angel. You will always have me.”

“You and I both know it wasn’t supposed to be this way,” eyes gleaming wetly, he sat up. Facing away from you so you would not see his tears, he hunched forward to awkwardly hug his legs.

Shifting to your knees, you moved to lay your head upon his shoulder. Wrapping your arms snugly about his torso, you murmured softly in his ear, “Castiel, I was always going to die. It’s what humans do. Hunters a lot sooner than the general population in my experience. Stop blaming yourself. We’ve gone over this, there is nothing you could have done to prevent it.”

Regardless of this fact, he still carried the burden of your death – the weight of it and the world hoisted upon his shoulders. Shuddering in your embrace, a choked sob caught in his throat.

You kissed and nuzzled his neck, continuing your optimistic reflection, “In a lot of ways, it’s better up here. That coffee shop downtown never screws up my order anymore. It’s perpetually sunny when I feel like taking a walk outside. I can pile on all the comfy blankets I want in bed and never break a sweat. The library always has the book I’m looking for, and it’s not God-forsaken research about some damned monster or other. It’s like a never-ending dream.”

“You don’t have to do that,” his gravelly tone cracked.

“Do what?”

“Pretend everything is okay for my sake. Everything’s a mess.”

“But everything _is_ okay, Cas. You’re here with me.” Rolling onto your seat, you encouraged him with a steady pull of his shoulder to rest his head again upon your lap.

He submitted to your gentle request.

Wiping the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs, you combed your fingers comfortingly through his hair until he closed his anxious red-rimmed eyes. His troubled expression sank further into the depths of peace with each caress. Careful not to disturb him, you picked up your book and found the page you’d left off on.

Lost in your dream, your Heaven, he forgot again, if only for the moment, the sorrows that haunted him.


End file.
